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These days it does seem that there is a day for everything. You might even think Mother’s Day is just another ploy by those marketing experts guilting us into buying flowers and a card for Mom. Well, I thought it would be interesting to look at the origins of Mother’s Day. I found this interesting as I didn’t know this until I did some research and I thought I would share it with you too.
The origins of Mother’s Day as celebrated in the United States date back to the 19th century. In the years before the Civil War, Ann Reeves Jarvis of West Virginia helped start “Mothers’ Day Work Clubs” to teach local women how to properly care for their children.
These clubs later became a unifying force in a region of the country still divided over the Civil War. In 1868 Jarvis organized “Mothers’ Friendship Day,” at which mothers gathered with former Union and Confederate soldiers to promote reconciliation.
Another precursor to Mother’s Day came from the abolitionist and suffragette Julia Ward Howe. In 1870 Howe wrote the “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” a call to action that asked mothers to unite in promoting world peace. In 1873 Howe campaigned for a “Mother’s Peace Day” to be celebrated every June 2.
Other early Mother’s Day pioneers include Juliet Calhoun Blakely, a temperance activist who inspired a local Mother’s Day in Albion, Michigan, in the 1870s. The duo of Mary Towles Sasseen and Frank Hering, meanwhile, both worked to organize a Mothers’ Day in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Some have even called Hering “the father of Mothers’ Day.”
By 1912 many states, towns and churches had adopted Mother’s Day as an annual holiday, and Jarvis had established the Mother’s Day International Association to help promote her cause. Her persistence paid off in 1914 when President Woodrow Wilson signed a measure officially establishing the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.
A woman named Anna Jarvis had originally conceived of Mother’s Day as a day of personal celebration between mothers and families. Her version of the day involved wearing a white carnation as a badge and visiting one’s mother or attending church services. She earned the backing of big department store owners in major towns and wasn’t long before Mother’s Day gained in commercial popularity. But once Mother’s Day became a national holiday, it was not long before florists, card companies and other merchants capitalized on its popularity. Jarvis had initially worked with the floral industry to help raise Mother’s Day’s profile, by 1920 she had become disgusted with how the holiday had been commercialized. She outwardly denounced the transformation and urged people to stop buying Mother’s Day flowers, cards, and candies. Jarvis eventually resorted to an open campaign against Mother’s Day profiteers, speaking out against confectioners, florists and even charities. She also launched countless lawsuits against groups that had used the name “Mother’s Day,” eventually spending most of her personal wealth in legal fees. By the time of her death in 1948 Jarvis had disowned the holiday altogether, and even actively lobbied the government to see it removed from the American calendar.
Interesting huh? Poor ole Anna Jarvis wanted to keep it about honoring Mom. Maybe keeping Mother’ Day simple and sincere is best.
Mother’s Day can cause a lot of anxiety – no one wants to disappoint Mom. What do mothers really want on a day carved out with only them in mind? Here are seven ideas that come right from mother’s themselves – maybe help you to think about the perfect gift for your mom or moms plural in your life and they are really very simple:
- To be with her children. Ask any mother what makes her feel special and the answer, hands down, is to be with her children and spend time with them. Togetherness is everything for a mom.
- A Letter or Handwritten Note Card. Nothing is more personal than a heartfelt note or letter. Tell her about something she did in your life that made an impact on you.
- A Special Meal. It’s always nice to go out for a special occasion but if you cooked it yourself it’s extra special.
- To be Pampered. Selfcare has become specifically important, especially if your mom is one that cares for others and is maybe a caregiver for their own Mom or Dad. A massage, facial or manicure or pedicure is especially appreciated during these stressful times.
- Peace and Serenity. On this one special day – promise mom that there will be no debating, arguing, or noise. Put the household on notice that peace and quiet is the rule of the day. That kind of peace can go a long way and I know it is incredibly challenging to find quiet time it seems these days. I cherish that kind of quiet when I can find it.
- A Duty-Free Day. Mom are so often multi-tasking and doing for others – so much so that often times we forget how much they really take care of in a typical day – making breakfast, getting the kids up and ready for school – driving them to school, then onto the office – managing kid’s sports and other activities in the day – then wrapping up work and trying to get back home to make dinner for everyone. It gets tough to find time to take care of yourself. Maybe let Mother’s Day be duty-free. Mom doesn’t lift a finger to do anything…not one thing.
- Thoughtfulness. Just knowing that motherhood is recognized and acknowledged goes a long way. Simple gestures of love and admiration make moms feel special.
Here are some other thoughts about honoring Mom:
- Begin the day with hugging and telling her, “I love you.”
- Draw and frame a portrait of the family. Remember it’s not about artistic talent or perfection; it’s about creating a special keepsake for her.
- Write a poem or letter to her. For younger kids, have them complete the sentence, “I love you because …” or “5 things I love about you are. …” Read it to her on Mother’s Day.
- Serve her breakfast in bed with all of her favorites, homemade or store-bought. Bonus points if you let her sleep in and don’t leave the cleanup for her!
- Write out verses or prayers for her on small pieces of paper. Roll up the prayers and put them in a small jar or box.
- A pretty journal, fun pens, and a new devotional, which would help with that quiet time that we women cherish and inspire her to take time to journal, pray and meditate in the morning.
Not all relationships are easy – in fact often times our relationships with people can be very challenging. You know ultimately one of the greatest commands that the Lord told us to obey was to love the Lord with all your heart and mind AND love your neighbor as yourself. That is not easy. It’s also not easy to love family sometimes. I wanted to acknowledge that today. Maybe there’s something we can do about that.
This morning had breakfast at one of our local Waffle House’s – That’s a Southern tradition the Waffle House. And it was busy there this morning – I chatted with some of the service staff during my visit which included all women and several older women. We talked about Mother’s Day, and do you know what they said – all they really wanted was a phone call from their son or daughter and didn’t sound like they were expecting that either. Sometimes our needs are so simple, and kindness can go a long way. We all just want to know we are loved and matter in this world, right?
What is the source of some of this family strain? Pew Research Center released a study in January 2024 about family conflict from the perspective of the children and what they report as creating strain with parents. Primary issues causing conflict or strain in the relationships:
- How they’re raising their children (40%, among those who are parents themselves)
- Their financial choices (39%)
- Their career or job situation (37%)
- Their social life (34%)
- Their political views (33%)
- What their parents think about their spouse or partner (30%, among those who are married or living with a partner)
- Their choice of romantic partners (30% among those who are neither married nor living with a partner)
- Their views about religion (29%)
No real surprise here, huh? But even so, some of our relationships with parents are just downright difficult and they can become more strained if you find yourself in a role as an unpaid caregiver of a parent. That is a stressful place to be. Married – protecting that relationship setting boundaries before having a parent move into your home is critical – go back and listen to Episode 3 ‘Protecting Your Marriage While Caregiving” hope give you some helpful perspective on the strain caregiving can cause and also the preparation and mindset work that needs to be done before you accept that role.
Now there is always counseling available and make sure if you do that you reach out to someone that is a licensed certified social worker LCSW, psychologist or psychiatrist, if there is some determination that prescriptions may be helpful in that treatment.
I thought I would take a more general look at what’s available when it comes to working through those difficult relationships with Moms. One resource I found was a book written by authors Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay called “It’s Momplicated” published by Tyndale Publishing. Joan Edwards Kay is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the East Bay of San Francisco and has been an adjunct professor at Western Seminar. Debbie is a biblical lay counselor, a Christian life coach, and the founder of Design4Living Ministries.
Whether your relationship with your mom has been wonderful or stressful, redeemed or broken, close or nonexistent, it’s one of your life’s most important and defining connections. Its effects have probably followed you into adulthood. These ladies combine both spiritual disciplines and the best of current therapeutic practice in their book to take closer look at: some of the following issues when it comes to those relationships:
1. How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships—and what you can do to break the cycle
2. Why you and your mother have the relationship you have—the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease.
3. Tools and exercises to help you cope with some of the most common effects of a broken relationship, including anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, and trust issues.
4. How to be the daughter and mother – God wants you to be even if your mom wasn’t who you needed her to be.
Difficult relationships – something to pray about as well. Offer a few prayers to you this afternoon. I believe in the power of prayer, and it always helps in every circumstance. Maybe this will give you some thought about how to pray:
First, for Mothers who may have strained relationships with their children. Here’s a prayer for healing in that relationship:
Mother’s Prayer for Healing for the Relationship
Dear God, I pray for healing in my relationship with my child. I confess my words and behaviors may have even led to this rift in our relationship, including being judgmental, overly critical, and demanding. Forgive me, dear Lord, and help me apologize to my child and help to bring forgiveness to that relationship. Help me to accept and love my child for the beautiful person that they are. May we enjoy a sweet spirit of companionship together. Amen.
Prayer for relationship with a difficult Mother
Father, please help me in this situation with my mother. Even when she is difficult, as she often is, help me to consistently be sweet and gracious in my communication with her. Help me to forgive her when she is unreasonable and not allow her to steal my peace and well-being. I pray that You can do a work in her mind and her heart, so that the issues leading to inappropriate behaviors will resolve. Amen.
Maybe you’re a caregiver for your mother – Caregiver role and it may be difficult at times to show additional appreciation for a parent including a mother that you are full time caregiver for, and that role reversal is extremely difficult. Offer you a prayer for that:
Caregiving child’s Prayer for Role-reversal with Mother
Lord of compassion, I thank You for giving me such a wonderful, wise, and giving mother. She has surely been a wonderful guide and inspiration to me through my childhood and into my adult years. And now, as her health is declining, it is time for our roles to reverse, and for me to become my mother’s caregiver. May I be as patient, loving, and gracious in this season as she has been to me all my life. Amen.
Prayer of Blessing for Mothers
Also, I pray for mothers out there as well that are day-in and day-out servants with servants’ hearts quietly taking care of their family, and maybe others in an extended family often times with not much acknowledgment. Found this blessing on Crosswalk website and I think it’s a good way to end our time together today in a prayer for mothers, grandmothers and those who have allowed themselves to be in the role as a mother whether it’s a stepmother or mother figure to another person.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
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